long time since i ranted here.  nice weather, too many distractions, and other assorted excuses kept me on a short-leash.  with the weather turning, back on the keyboard tapping away.

turkish media has been reporting possible new legislation to enable the conscripted recruits to pay their ways out of the mandatory military service, by serving 21 days of basic training, and in some cases not even serving that, if they agree to pay handsomely, in euros.  this is not new– turkish males, who have mandatory military service based on the constitution, but who have been living and working abroad for at least three years have always been able to do that.  also, after the terrible istanbul earthquake of 1999, the same was offered to turkish citizens sans the live/ work abroad limitation.

the new proposal, as the wsj reported yesterday,  may be offered to all turkish males over the age of 25 without any requirements.  the government is proposing a sliding scale for what you have to pay depending on your age.   according to the wsj, the government may raise up to $1.5B with this system…

this comes at a very interesting juncture– the turkish military is fighting threats of terrorism in eastern and southeastern turkey.  the need for a strong military is extremely crucial- at least for the foreseeable future.   but why is the government backing this proposal up?

the current administration in turkey has been boasting about “turkey’s strong economy” and the “strength of the lira” for the last year or so.  prime minister erdogan declared success on the economy without any reservations.  however, the people are taxed beyond reason, especially in consumer goods and imports.  the administration, like the administrations before, failed immensely in collecting corporate taxes.  same goes for taxing the rich.  the middle class bears all the burden– taxes on import electronics and cars may reach or exceed 200%.   the government, it seems, can only collect taxes from those on a salary or at the point of sale.

in my recent trips to turkey, i was always handed new banknotes.  the country is chuck full of new money.  feels like the administration is inflating the economy with newly coined currency, creating a huge bubble.

and now this– attempting to create a huge revenue stream with having citizens pay their way out of the military service when the military is most needed.  of course tens of thousand will not be able to afford the fee they suggest.  even if they agree on an installment plan from the government.   the current proposal, with its sliding scale, suggesting up to 25,000 euros for the very young with a minimum of 5,000 euros at a minimum,  even paid in installments, with the net minimum wage set at 512 liras per month, which is slightly less than $300, would be impossible to pay by the majority of the population.

moreover, despite the administrations insistent mantra of a strong lira, this payment scale is set in euros, showing how much real confidence the administration has in its national currency.

this just goes on to add to the signs– turkish economy, with all the administration’s propaganda, is actually an overinflated artificial bubble and it is about to burst.   with the administration’s utter eagerness to back up this conscription legislation, and knowing, in turkey, people do not tend to act till the very last second, i fear the bubble will burst come february or march.  hope i am wrong…

times gave a good travel warning against atlanta today.  not that hotlanta is one of my favorite places to visit, but now i am especially warned not to be there in mid june and wanted to share it with the world.  apparently june 10 will be the 75th anniversary of the publication of “gone with the wind” and the book’s (and the film’s) fans will congregate in atlanta to celebrate.  to my horror, i found out that its fans call themselves “the windies”…  oh my pathetic soul…

the article even had a photo of one of the leaders of the windies, a mrs. sorrow (apt name, nonetheless), with a size 16 replica of a dress vivian leigh wore in the film.   mrs. sorrow and her band are the saddest fans of anything i’ve ever laid eyes on or read about.  that photo, with the dress, along with the rest of the pictures, may cost me thousands of dollars in therapy in the foreseeable future.

trekkies and other similar hardcore fans are pathetic as well, but in an easier to digest manner– at least there is a sense of humor in them.  it is actually fun to watch the trekkies.   but seeing the windies in action would be akin to be drugged, blindfolded and then dropped off in guantanomo.  or at a young and restless or general hospital fan conference, if there ever was such a travesty.

waffle house and denny’s waitresses parading around as southern belles, donned in homemade costumes of cheap fabric, longing for antebellum days and plantations, acting all sophisticated with the wrigley’s spearmint they took out of their mouths and affixed to the gear shift of their ’91 cavalier in the parking lot of the motel 6 where the convention is being held not even dry yet is a living nightmare, no two ways around it.  if dante added a 10th circle to his hell, that would be where i would be stuck with the windies.  can’t imagine a bigger horror.  hence, no travel to atlanta before the end of june…

speaking about atlanta, had a similar terrifying experience there the summer of 2004.  was there for a conference with a good buddy of mine.  we didn’t see much of the conference but got 86’ed from several atlanta bars.  our last day was a sunday and we found ourselves in the food court of the CNN towers with massive hangovers.  we stumbled into a sports bar for a bite to it and we found ourselves surrounded by promise keepers.  it was really scary.  on the next table there were promise keepers of assorted ages, with their brainwashed offspring and all, holding hands and praying before their meal.  my buddy just had to ask our waiter in a voice loud enough for all to hear “is there a gay convention or something going around here?” and we barely escaped there with our skins intact.  good times…

the times, catering to its demographic, published the summary of a recent research on parenting. according to the times the “gist” of the article is “older parents are happier than younger parents”! according to the mentioned studies, folks who have offspring over the age of 40 are happier than parents in their 20s. or teenage parents. such revelation! i am soo glad someone finally spent tens of thousands on research and finally figured this correlation out.

how obvious can a study get? why do you spend money to research something like this to begin with? of course older parents are happier because they have offspring. of course teenage parents or parents in their 20s are miserable. of course parenting will be a bigger pleasure when you lived longer and fulfilled many of your dreams. if you’re in your 20s and are slapped with offspring, of course it will make you miserable, at least at some level, and make you long for how you would have lived your 20s, even your 30s, without an offspring tagging along. all those travels, adventures, possible career moves and changes, personal development, education you may have to forgo because you are now responsible for a kid? come on, how obvious can you get?

saw a couple in their early 40s the other day. typical white park slope professional couple: with a pair of in vitro twins, spitting image of them, an asian daughter, apparently a purchase and a back up in case the in vitro twins did not pan out as worthy offspring, and an ethnic nanny, obviously for the offspring’s second language, tagging along. they were happy as clams. another couple, this time black and in their early 20s, not so much…

well, it is obvious for our modern western society, isn’t it? offspring later in life will bring more personal satisfaction than offspring earlier in life. this may not be true for developing countries where there is no joy in the entire shebang, it is just a natural occurrence of life, but it is true for our modern society.

needless to say it was one of the most emailed articles on the times style section this sunday. or teenage parents. an expensive and needless study but a perfect self-affirmation for the times’ demographic.

apparently there is a serial killer on the loose in long island. he is targeting prostitutes he finds on craigslist. a serial killer is no laughing matter. but, how the cops are perceiving this particular ted bundy really is. according to a recent ny times article, the cops think that the killer may be someone from law enforcement, either active or former, because he knows how cops think and is careful in not living traces.

they reached this conclusion because this dude called the victims’ families from crowded areas like the penn station with burn phones knowing that the cctv cameras will not be able to pick him up in such crowded areas and the cops will not be able to trace the burn phones.

here is an alternate theory for you investigating officers: perhaps the killer is not former or active law enforcement but a dedicated tv viewer? maybe the guy watched an episode of CSI (you pick the name of the city)? or another episode of law & order SVU? or, if he is really technologically advanced 24, or, if he has premium cable the wire? how about that?

screw the police academy, those shows give you the blueprint for committing crimes and getting away with it. if you think about everything they use to catch criminals and act accordingly, you will not be caught. like not calling your victim’s sister from your own cell phone and your mother’s family plan in front of a security camera in a deserted street in broad daylight.

you follow what CSI teaches you, which is probably beyond what a standard police department would utilize for all its cases (i’m sure the way they investigate on TV is way too expensive for most crimes) then you’ll get away with it.

or you will never commit a crime. what you see on TV, even though some of the technology TV law enforcement utilizes may be too expensive or wishful thinking, would make any smart person paranoid. achieving a perfect crime is not as easy as it was in your granddaddy’s day. so, kids, don’t commit a crime. unless you’re a mensa member and extremely “smart”—if so, knock yourself out… go get your guns mensa morons and let’s see darwin and natural selection in action…

but, if you were too stoned while watching CSI, or if you lived your entire life without the warm and deep teachings of a TV, then you’re in trouble buddy.

and that brings us to my second issue with the article and the serial killer investigation. according to the article, one investigator even exclaimed: “without question, this guy is smart, this guy is not a dope,” and continued, “it’s a guy who thinks about things”.

“not a dope” and “a guy who thinks about things”? oh my… the cops are really caught between a rock and hard place in this one, didn’t they? yeah, a dope and a guy who doesn’t think they can handle and they cherish. but not a dope and thinks about things? oh, you better watch out!

…i ran into a book i’ve been avoiding like the plague for the last few years recently.  it is called “The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World” and it is by a fella named aj jacobs, who claims to be a journalist.

i say “claims to be a journalist” because he is writing for the esquire.  i don’t think esquire had any journalistic content in the last 25 years or so.  it is nothing but a glorified newspaper advertising insert.  a better printed best buy circular or smart source coupon book, that is what esquire (and all the other lifestyle magazines) are.  monthly product placement and advertising vessels.  esquire, like many of its ilk, had journalistic content and merits decades ago.  nowadays if some good and interesting writing finds its way in, it is either due to a sheer oversight or nostalgia.

well, going back to the subject, 6-7 years ago everyone was talking about the book– apparently aj sat on his ass, read the encyclopedia britannica in its entirety and wrote a book about it.   needless to say, i avoid books like that at all costs but had a run in with it recently.  i also sat on my ass and skimmed through it.  the book may be shit but aj is smart.  not by the mensa definition (and there is some stuff about mensa morons in it) but my definition.  he not only wrote a bestseller book but also made a career out of it.  he is the foremost leader of “stunt journalism”.  again, it is a shit genre but it makes money.

here is the recipe for such a book: find a topic.  any topic which will require research but no real intelligence or creativity.  for instance decide to write a book about oliver cromwell and how he would resonate today.  then start narrating your “research”.  when i say “start narrating your research” i don’t mean only your findings but your research process.  have a couple of personal story arcs embedded that the readers can sympathize with.  for instance aj used how he and his wife was trying to conceive offspring.  apply tons of self-deprecating humor, comparing yourself with cromwell and his cronies.   and, here is the most essential part, insert one edgy knock-knock joke to each paragraph.  this, again, is the most crucial ingredient for success.

almost all of aj’s jokes are edgy knock-knock jokes.  “edgy” as in they would be edgy for our social-nazi ms. susan behrens and her kind, making her chuckle controllably and exclaim “oh, aj, you’re impossible” with a slight blush.  trust me, you’ll win over 70% of the kindle, 45% of the ipad and 100% of the NPR demographic.

going back to the title of this entry and mensa, aj takes a few subtle shots at the mensa morons.  utilizing self-deprecation again, he summarizes how he became a card carrying mensa member based on his SAT scores alone (apparently that is enough), but then unleashes his knock-knock jokes  at a mensa convention.  that section pretty much sums mensa up.  morons filled to the brim with data.

i am dissing the book but i am not dissing aj.  for all its worth, he found a good market and a good product and attained success.  kudos.  reading the 32 volumes of the britannica was not smart, by any definition.  but writing a bestseller book about the experience, no matter how shitty i find the book, is smart.  making a career out of it and writing more and more shitty books is smarter.  as long as there is an audience for them.

…ranting away in the sunday times.  this time we have a ms. susan behrens, known for her grammar handbook, going off about how noisy restaurants are…  her first paragraph, in itself, summarizes the new social nazism, the hegemony of a select few on the entire society.  ms. behrens states:

“I used to love eating out; I don’t anymore. Even though the smokers have been moved outside and the food is more likely to be from some local, free-range, organic farm, and I can finally afford the “better” places, I would rather stay home — because I am tired of the noise.”

ok, we are rid of the smokers, the non-healthy foods, now it is time to move to the last bastion of free life, fun.  let’s get rid of that as well and the social nazis will finally be happy, eating their tofu steaks in sterile restaurants, away from the riffraff..

one of the first things they teach you in law school is the elusive “reasonable person” standard: a legal fiction purporting to pinpoint the common denominator of social relations and actions.  how would a reasonable person act under the circumstances? that is your bar, your bright line.

this is supposed to be an objective criteria, indicating the “standard” in the society.  standard, in most cases, means the majority: its wrong side being a low standard and right side a higher standard.  higher standard is always good.  lower, you’re in trouble brother.  both the higher and the lower standards are, as logic goes, statistical exceptions.  most people act and relate one way and that is the standard of a reasonable person…

that ain’t the case in modern western society anymore.  modern western society is using a statistical exception, the oversensitive, as its common denominator, as its “reasonable person”.  the highest standard, not the natural median of the society, is becoming the rule.  whereas, elsewhere, such as education, the lowest standard is being accepted as the norm.  it is fucked up if you ask me…

because the oversensitive is filling the shoes of the “reasonable person” smoking is banned everywhere, including public places in NYC, and food diversity is accepted as long as it is healthy and sterile.  now revelry is about to go down the drain if the social nazis have their way.  being boisterous, reveling, getting excited are human traits.  i guess these are not traits ms. behrens wishes to see in the restaurants she frequents.  and, sadder yet, many of the times readers who commented on ms. behrens’ piece agree.

society needs to say a firm “no” to these social nazis, the oversensitive, and should take humanity and the “reasonable person” standard back from them.  otherwise they will continue to have their say and get their way.  if you’re oversensitive to smoke, noise and unhealthy foods, well, stay the fuck away from places where they’re enjoyed.   or live with them, your call.  that’s what being a social animal means: to get along with society’s norms.  not to change the norms based on the hegemony and choices of a select few…

after many years in relative obscurity, qaddafi is back on the saddle as public enemy number 1!  kudos mr. qaddafi– i thought you had no endgame left in you after 2009’s puff pieces about you in commemoration of your UN general assembly speech.  everyone, from the new yorker to the new york times, was going all googly eyed with your  pan african speeches, how you bestowed yourself as the “king of kings” of africa, waxing poetic about how you set your air conditioned tent in all the high places and palaces of the world…  i wonder where those writers are now, a few days away from libya being bombed back to early ’80s…  surely they won’t do it on friday, your holy day, but come saturday, i can already hear those guided missiles screaming by.  such fall from grace in the western eye, such waste of decades of publicity.  all these years on political campaigns and goodwill, not even focusing on your military career, wasting it away, remaining content with the rank of colonel, when all your peers became generals or field marshalls.  sorry it ended like this mr. qaddafi, you were one times article or one new yorker profile away from becoming the prodigal son of africa…

…not a big angle in the american media?  it is really curious..  the leaks came out about a week ago, with bits and pieces before hand.  now the entire country is burning.  it is a good ole “civil war” and interestingly it is labeled “protests”…  it is a term of art like the “insurgents”…  the truth is the wikileaks releases were the fuel that transformed the little flame, which could have blown away itself, to a raging forest fire..  the telegraph recently published an article about the nexus and it makes perfect sense.  it is said how we’re not even considering that angle and blaming mubarak and his boys for everything, not even trying to justify our meddling which led to the cauldron boiling over…  sad but typical..

ok, here it goes– yale law professor answering to the name amy chua published a book titled “battle hymn of the tiger mother” where she apparently goes on and on about what she calls the “chinese mother model of raising kids”– which equates to something in between the tough “love” of british boarding schools and true and tested amish parenting skills.  her hubby, jeb rubenfeld, another overachieving yale law professor rewrote “the alienist“– it is disguised in careful research with lots of period detail, but it is “the alienist” all over again.  as if we needed another one…

seems that the hubby-wife team are in a publishing pissing contest: he got some commercial success with his rewritten alienist and its sequel and now she ups it a few notches with her tell-all.  the book, any smart yale professor will tell you, is written as a provocation, chuck full of controversy.   especially in this day and age where the bookstores are overpopulated with “how to be a great parent” junk– it is the new porn for parents…

until about 50 years ago babies came without owner’s manuals.  then the famous doctor came in and he was the only man in town for a few decades.  nowadays the owner’s manual is about 800 volumes, all contradicting each other, but nearly all preaching some sort of neo-new age soft-touch and nurturing blabberings, preaching everything from crazy feeding tricks to mom and offspring yoga classes…  the kids are the crazed scientist labs, the cheap chemistry sets of parents…

well, ms. chua definitely knows what will be controversial and, accordingly, what will sell…  everyone is talking about her and trying to explain her “madness” or “genius”, calling her from anything from a sociopath to a maverick…  but, all i can call her is an opportunist. just like her husband before her, but in a drastically different way– her husband saw an opportunity in copying and selling something true and tested.  she, on the other hand, in kicking the hornet’s nest and selling through controversy.  it is easy to see who in the rubenfeld-chua household is smarter and a better opportunist– she will outsell the hubby off the ballpark…  and, interestingly enough, the hubby’s sequel to his version of the alienist started selling like hotcakes after ms. chua’s book came out and all the controversy broke loose.  i’m sure 2011 will be  good year for the chua-rubenfeld household and their CPAs…

needless to say i did not read the book.  and i never will.  which, of course, will not prevent me from criticizing it.  it is the way of this blog, so deal with it…  but i read enough reviews, discussions and comments– from downright vulgar to outright enamoured…

the big discussion is of course hinging on the empirical data– the chinese (and most asian) kids outperforming their western, especially american counterparts..  which is a fact.  of course everyone is trying to explain it with parenting skills.. which may be a contributing factor but is only the tip of the iceberg.  like almost everything else, the reason is pure economics.  children, and parents, who do not have a guaranteed safe future tend to work harder for that elusive safety.  but knowing you have your future is lined up and you have fiscal security makes you look up to yoga for toddlers instead of math and sciences..

american kids don’t want to be engineers or scientists or even business folk (well, the business thing is not that true– with all the quick millionaires and billionaires around them, from start-up whiz kids to the masters of the universe in wall street, that avenue is still coveted)…  they want to write the next great american novel or shoot the new sundance sensation.  and, having disposable income, their generation X parents are giving them a free reign.  the baby boomers were a different breed of parents– they knew hard times and the value of economic security so they guided their offspring, the generation X, to achieve in conventional and more realistic ways.  now the generation X can afford to live their long quashed dreams vicariously through their offspring, their new chemistry sets..

having worked at and with universities the last decade or so, i observed this phenomenon first hand many times over: american universities are full of whining generation Y babies, seeking their first degrees in the arts, or, if they are a little bit more resolute, filling up the MFA programs, which are popping up each and every university as the new revenue generator.  on the other hand, the science and engineering departments are full of asian and former soviet bloc students.  one group is studying to secure their future, the other is following their oft misguided dreams– statistically, there cannot be this many “creatives” floating around.  there, this explains the main difference between the “tiger moms” and their american counterparts– one is of necessity, the other of luxury..

if the only future you can promise your children is the future they will establish themselves and if you’re relying on them for your future, trust me, you’ll push them to the redline…  of course this is only true when you know the limitations of your time, surroundings and personal abilities: if you’re a clueless breeder yourself, then this statement will not hold true.  it holds true for those parents who, despite trying their best, was limited by their time, culture, glass ceilings, nationality, etc.

on the other hand, if you have already established a decent future for your and your offspring, then you can afford the luxury of letting them “find their ways”.  of course there are exceptions in either group.  i know many well to do families pushing their kids hard and vice versa.  my family would fit more into the first group than the latter but they never pushed me or my siblings to what they thought was best.  they let us find ourselves.  however, because we did not have the golden parachutes the latter group have, we did not become kids of leisure…

when it comes to ethnic/ national differences, i think the real comparison should be between western european and american parents– chinese v. american is apples and oranges.  european kids are also outperforming american kids despite relative economic equality.  a grad student should do a survey dissertation on the sales of parenting books on different amazon countries.  i have neither the the patience or the inclination to conduct such a research but i can bet my bottom dollar that this would give a good explanation.  american parents have a long history of delegating their parenting responsibilities to others– from parenting gurus to television, nintendo, kiddie prozac and adderall.  european parents still keep the responsibility to themselves…

i bet you recent immigrant families, especially second generation and up from asia and former soviet bloc, will accumulate more comparative wealth and have their offspring in more and more positions of power, innovation and technical success.  however, the offspring of the said offspring will be a different story and will give their american counterparts of today a run for their money in being teenagers of leisure; to their great detriment of course…  i would like to see how ms. chua’s daughters’ offspring will be raised.  now that is the real question…

one thing the above new yorker article alluded to is the overblown self-confidence of american kids–  funny, the last few months were full of articles about university freshmen dealing with depression and cracking under pressure– of course the talking heads try to explain everything with difficulties and not enough care but i tell you– the reason is overconfidence.  pump up the kids with all the neo new age crap and push them to their pipe-dreams, this is what you’ll get.  generation Y is a loss- let’s chalk it that way.  i call them “kids of leisure”.  now a majority of american kids can afford to live like the good ole trust fund brats of the south.  the kids of leisure will be the downfall of the traditional american upper middle class.

their offspring have a chance of redemption and saving this country, if their to-be parents survive their whining lives and reproduce that is.  their offspring will have to rebuild this country and will have only merited self-confidence.  reminds me of the dylan lyrics:

They’re spoonfeeding Casanova

To get him to feel more assured

Then they’ll kill him with self-confidence

After poisoning him with words…

generation Y, welcome to your new “desolation row”…