times gave a good travel warning against atlanta today.  not that hotlanta is one of my favorite places to visit, but now i am especially warned not to be there in mid june and wanted to share it with the world.  apparently june 10 will be the 75th anniversary of the publication of “gone with the wind” and the book’s (and the film’s) fans will congregate in atlanta to celebrate.  to my horror, i found out that its fans call themselves “the windies”…  oh my pathetic soul…

the article even had a photo of one of the leaders of the windies, a mrs. sorrow (apt name, nonetheless), with a size 16 replica of a dress vivian leigh wore in the film.   mrs. sorrow and her band are the saddest fans of anything i’ve ever laid eyes on or read about.  that photo, with the dress, along with the rest of the pictures, may cost me thousands of dollars in therapy in the foreseeable future.

trekkies and other similar hardcore fans are pathetic as well, but in an easier to digest manner– at least there is a sense of humor in them.  it is actually fun to watch the trekkies.   but seeing the windies in action would be akin to be drugged, blindfolded and then dropped off in guantanomo.  or at a young and restless or general hospital fan conference, if there ever was such a travesty.

waffle house and denny’s waitresses parading around as southern belles, donned in homemade costumes of cheap fabric, longing for antebellum days and plantations, acting all sophisticated with the wrigley’s spearmint they took out of their mouths and affixed to the gear shift of their ’91 cavalier in the parking lot of the motel 6 where the convention is being held not even dry yet is a living nightmare, no two ways around it.  if dante added a 10th circle to his hell, that would be where i would be stuck with the windies.  can’t imagine a bigger horror.  hence, no travel to atlanta before the end of june…

speaking about atlanta, had a similar terrifying experience there the summer of 2004.  was there for a conference with a good buddy of mine.  we didn’t see much of the conference but got 86’ed from several atlanta bars.  our last day was a sunday and we found ourselves in the food court of the CNN towers with massive hangovers.  we stumbled into a sports bar for a bite to it and we found ourselves surrounded by promise keepers.  it was really scary.  on the next table there were promise keepers of assorted ages, with their brainwashed offspring and all, holding hands and praying before their meal.  my buddy just had to ask our waiter in a voice loud enough for all to hear “is there a gay convention or something going around here?” and we barely escaped there with our skins intact.  good times…

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