apparently there is a serial killer on the loose in long island. he is targeting prostitutes he finds on craigslist. a serial killer is no laughing matter. but, how the cops are perceiving this particular ted bundy really is. according to a recent ny times article, the cops think that the killer may be someone from law enforcement, either active or former, because he knows how cops think and is careful in not living traces.

they reached this conclusion because this dude called the victims’ families from crowded areas like the penn station with burn phones knowing that the cctv cameras will not be able to pick him up in such crowded areas and the cops will not be able to trace the burn phones.

here is an alternate theory for you investigating officers: perhaps the killer is not former or active law enforcement but a dedicated tv viewer? maybe the guy watched an episode of CSI (you pick the name of the city)? or another episode of law & order SVU? or, if he is really technologically advanced 24, or, if he has premium cable the wire? how about that?

screw the police academy, those shows give you the blueprint for committing crimes and getting away with it. if you think about everything they use to catch criminals and act accordingly, you will not be caught. like not calling your victim’s sister from your own cell phone and your mother’s family plan in front of a security camera in a deserted street in broad daylight.

you follow what CSI teaches you, which is probably beyond what a standard police department would utilize for all its cases (i’m sure the way they investigate on TV is way too expensive for most crimes) then you’ll get away with it.

or you will never commit a crime. what you see on TV, even though some of the technology TV law enforcement utilizes may be too expensive or wishful thinking, would make any smart person paranoid. achieving a perfect crime is not as easy as it was in your granddaddy’s day. so, kids, don’t commit a crime. unless you’re a mensa member and extremely “smart”—if so, knock yourself out… go get your guns mensa morons and let’s see darwin and natural selection in action…

but, if you were too stoned while watching CSI, or if you lived your entire life without the warm and deep teachings of a TV, then you’re in trouble buddy.

and that brings us to my second issue with the article and the serial killer investigation. according to the article, one investigator even exclaimed: “without question, this guy is smart, this guy is not a dope,” and continued, “it’s a guy who thinks about things”.

“not a dope” and “a guy who thinks about things”? oh my… the cops are really caught between a rock and hard place in this one, didn’t they? yeah, a dope and a guy who doesn’t think they can handle and they cherish. but not a dope and thinks about things? oh, you better watch out!