shit like this happens only in memphis– according to the commercial appeal, which is nothing but a glorified tabloid itself, my man ernest d. porter, 44, of memphis, tn was caught with fabric softener in his pants.  according to the commercial appeal:

“Police charged Porter with theft and criminal trespass after he was accused of attempting to leave a Kroger store on Lamar with $18 worth of Ultra Downy fabric softener in his pants. He was held in jail on $100 bond.”

$18 worth of ultra downy fabric softener in his pants?  now that is a party!

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